God, I'm so lazy!

Augh! It's driving me nuts now how I'm so freaking lazy all the time!

I have a month of homework to make up, a mountain of other things to do, aaaand...i'm not doing any of it.

So, what's been going on in my life?

I made a new friend today, which was pretty sweet. She actually asked me if I could be her friend and seemed really excited, and it just perplexed me as to why someone would want to be my friend, especially so enthusiastic! I will be a follower, and name her in a slightly obscure/descriptive name...umm...hm...well, okay, I can't think of one right now, but as I get to know her I will name her. We have plans for next week to smoke a couple of joints before class, her and another friend of mine that I've known for years, so that will be quite fun.
On the way to class, I carpooled with a recent acquaintance that I've really gotten to know and become close with the past year we've been talking and hanging out, and for the first time I opened up about my feelings with TheEnigma (boy I feel like I'm falling in love with, mentioned in a previous post). He couldn't really help with giving any advice or anything, but it felt so relieving to just say everything I've been dying to say.
About TheEnigma...he's been getting in my head a lot, lately, and it's slightly..I don't know anymore. I want to say disturbing, but...I like it. He's the first person to know my moves as I'm making them, subtle sayings in his journal entries, knowing that I'm going to read them and know exactly what he's saying. I feel like I want a relationship, but at the same time, I also know that I don't. I can't stand the labeling of girlfriend/boyfriend, because it brings up too many standards and expectations that end up ruining everything. And yet...he put it into perfect words, and he feels the exact same way I feel about many things. Sure, sex is nice...but it's so much more satisfying to have your mind fucked as well. And not like manipulation, but just being able to have an intelligent conversation with someone, which is so rare anymore. I try to talk philosophy and psychology with people, and the look of "wtf" is so glaringly obvious, and they think I'm a freak. But him...we challenge each other, and teach each other almost every time we're around each other. Augh, I sound like a retard. Anyway.

I keep trying to make myself promise not to do drugs for at least a week, and I think this week is when I'm going to do it. Right now. No more smoking, anything, and no snorting anything regardless if TheEnigma's plans come through. I have to know if I can beat it, at least for a while. I don't want to quit forever-just for right now. Put myself through a test, as you will. I hope I pass..